alot to say ..

babi and i are back! we are fated to be with each other. we have a very long and good talk ytd after i work. we even have disagreements and quarrel. but end up we give in and willing to change for each other and start afresh. he hug me and said he is so lost without me =D

i love u alot. because u proof everything to me.

2 more months to 1 year.

cherish u more. :)

babi bought the Arai helmet that i wanted to buy for his birthday. =( $700 plus. now what am i going to buy for his birthday ???

anyway, so happy, that i passed my final theory test. felt released.

my beloved boyfriend is gone.

my beloved long hair is gone too.

i cant bear to cut my hair.

but i want to start afresh.

sometimes, somethings cant bear also have to let go. since its already spoil, its pointless living it there.

believable ?

everything is over.

really over.

i have tried to change, but it doesnt work. u said ur love is still there, but u're not changing. i try to accept it when girls contacting u asking u out. but some its getting over limits. its not that i dont trust u, i know u didnt go out with them. or its not ur fault that they contact u. but just because i`m 18, do they 20 plus years old girls give me any respect at all ? they dont give me respect just because i`m younger den them ? i also need some respect. i dont call them back and yell at them because i know this is childish and i respect u. i can endure everything but i cant take this. where's my pride ? i have tried everything to pull this relationship back already. but up til now, no matter how hard i tried, its still the same. i wont shed any tears anymore because i`m giving up each day. i wont regret for anything because i dare to say i give u all my love and didnt do any unfaithful things behind u. because when i am with u, u are my world. because when our relationship is changing, i try my best to pull it back. i wont regret, cos i did my very best for u, and til the very last step, at least i try. :)

i thought this love will never end.

i am so tired of everything.

everyday i do now is the same. sleep, school, work.

and i am so no mood in everything.

our relationship is changing.

not changing to better, but changing to colder.

we are getting farer and farer away. mostly likely to become strangers 1 day.

i already tried to change for u. but we're not like last time anymore.

can anybody tell me please, what did i do wrong in this relationship ???

=(

i`m back together with my babi again. i`m so glad.

bi :

Bi dan dan, i miss you alot. really alot. i know we quarrel alot the past few weeks because of small matters. that makes u want to cool down for a few days to think about our relationship again. but i dont wan to cool down at all. i just want us to sit down and talk nicely to know what we both need. i dont want to let go abit even is just cooling down but you insist. so i decided to let you go instead of dragging the pain. and u are fine with it. but this past few days is really suffering for me. all i do is stay inside my room for the whole day, dont feel like doing anything, dont feel like talking to other people, dont feel like eating, dont feel like watching tv. just lying on my bed the whole day. the most i do is cry, and smoke. without u i only see darkness. even if i eat, the food have got no taste. i really wish i can stay inside my room forever, i dont wish to go to school and go to work, but i still have to go to school, go to work and treat as nothing has happened. i know that i am only 18 and u are already 23 i am still childish to u. but i am willing to change for u. yiming and kapoh support me not to turn back, but i dont care what others say. cos i know once i be with u i must accept ur bad points and i will slowly accept all. i only want back our relationship. i dont know what were u doing this few days, all i know is i`m worry for u everyday. i only can call ur friends secretly to know how are u. i can forget about our quarrels and start afresh. i willing to give in to you, forget what u did, care more for you, understand you and give us a chance. i will give u whatever u need. i dont want anything else i only want you. letting u go is my only way of not dragging the pain, but in my heart i cant bear to and you are still my dearest. i still wan to see your family, eat ur mother's cooking. i still wan to accompany u when u are alone. i am still working very hard to save money to buy u a present for ur birthday to give u a surprise. i promise to treat u well and listen to u. but, i know ur character if u choose this way u will never think much. so i already prepare for the worse. but i really hope u wont give up so easily on our 9 months relationship and give us 1 more chance. i wanna be with you.

bi dan dan, i still hope a few days later i will receive ur msg or call again, whether u want to patch up. if 1 week later i still didnt see your msg or call, i know our relationship dont stand a chance anymore........................ ='(