i am going to Ph later with Samuel Paul Norris and all !!

fuck that today i only ate abit at work, and smoke break only. because we have 1000 plus piece of new stocks. 1000 plus, imagaine ? i want to go crazy and almost fainted. bad.

i tell babi if he's not meeting me i will be going to Ph. he said its up to me. but i told him if he want to meet me, i will not go Ph. he said up to me.

so i told him i will be going to Ph instead since we met ytd. he sounds very unhappy and kind of raise his voice.

at that moment i am unhappy too. why ? cos you asked me to choose, so i made my decision. ended up you were not happy with my decision and said " you sibei gao chiong ! "

you wanted me to meet you. but you didnt say it out.

you doesnt want me to go clubbing. but you didnt stop me.

all is because, you strongly believe that my decision will be you.

you didnt stop me, cos all you wanted was face.

you told me before, you dont hug me first, because you know everytime when we met, the first thing i do is to fly over and give you a big hug. and you will be smiling so happily.

all of these, is because you know i am always by your side.

no matter what happens, you know i will be there siding you.

because you know my decision is always you.

because you know i love you alot.

i`m going to let you know, i`m not forever there.

yes, i love you alot that it cannot compare to how much others love you. that is why i forgive u of all the shit you've done.

but i told you before, sometimes i really hate you alot, for betraying me, and destroying our friendship and losing 1 friend.

and all because of this, i hate myself alot too.

and all because of these, it sometimes make me take 1 step back in our relationship.

after that you text me telling me if i want to go clubbing, fine, next time you go out with girls please dont stop you.

come on, how long we are together ? you used this sentence to me alot of times already. well, go ahead. you want to play revenge, i can play back with you, just wait and see. because i am not the little soft hearted Elen Yuen in your heart anymore. YOU were the one who changed me.

you play enough already wat, 你玩够了. now you're so afraid i'll do back the same thing to you.

so now you finally understand the feeling of that day when i sit down crying waiting for you to come fetch me to go clubbing together, while you were fetching all my friends but die also dont fetch me.

and now i finally understand why you said you dislike going clubbing with partner.

so much pain i've suffer for you, so much things i've done for you no matter how ppl look upon you. but there is always this word, tired.

sorry, i will not quit clubbing because of you. because you were the one who turned me into a hardcore clubber.

i`m not going to change, i`ve change so much, into a diamond heart.

you're the one who need to change.

chance is given only once.

once is a mistake, second will not be forgiven.

dont worry, i still love you, like i always do.

i felt so much better after venting on my blog. hey, dont gossip ar. haha.

and i`m going now !!!